AMS president Aaron Bailey expressed his disappointment yesterday when his bid to keep the giant ceremonial scissors from the new SUB opening ceremony was rejected. The AMS had rented the scissors for the ceremony, but decided that they would like to keep them. According to Bailey, the AMS offered to pay $100 for the scissors. “The company we rented from has told us they are one of a kind… They are unique and priceless, apparently,” he said.
The following conversation isn’t real, but it’s how we’re picturing it in our head.
AMS: These are very nice scissors. Thank you for renting them to us.
Scissor Company: You’re welcome. Could we get those back now?
AMS: But what if we kept them?
Scissor Company: No, you rented them. Please give the scissors back.
AMS: What if we — hold on.
The AMS execs rifle through their wallets, whispering excitedly.
AMS: What if we gave you 100 dollars.
Scissor Company: This is not how renting works. Please, please give us our scissors back.
AMS: We are sorry. Here are your scissors back.
Scissor Company: You have given us two butter knives taped together.
AMS: You’re sharp, scissor company. Here are your real scissors.
Scissor Company: We will never do business again.